True stories: Dating as an expat in Hungary II

Cross-cultural relationships can be extremely fun but also challenging. Those looking to find love away from home are certainly bound for adventure. Here are four stories from our readers who tried dating as an expat in Hungary. While you are here, do not forget to check out our previous article that discusses the ups and downs of the Hungarian dating scene. 

Christopher (40) – France

“I’m no longer based in Budapest but I lived there for four years in the past. As a French teacher, I had many opportunities to meet new people – my students often invited me to events and parties. I also tried dating online (Facebook, Tinder) and at my workplace. Hungary is a great place to be single and just enjoy life. At that time, I wasn’t looking for something serious as I didn’t know how long my work contract would last. On one hand, Hungarian women were less expressive than French ones and I also met some who had quite a depressing worldview. On the other hand, they were less materialistic than French women in the south where I come from.

For a straight man, Budapest is a paradise when it comes to dating. Women are extremely beautiful and dress quite provocatively and revealing, especially in summer. Of course, I didn’t restrict my choices to locals. The advantage of living in Budapest was its international vibe and vibrant social life, so I had the chance to meet many people from different countries. Not being a Hungarian also came to my advantage. Whenever an issue arose (in restaurants or with the electricity company), my exes took care of it as I didn’t speak the local language. I didn’t even have to lift a finger. I also remember the unlimited amount of pálinka and tasty homemade dishes when I was invited to my ex-girlfriends’ families. Ah, good old times.. I think cross-culture dating really opens up your mind and makes you more accepting of people with different opinions and backgrounds.”

Read more: Budapest revealed as one of the cheapest cities in Europe to go on a date

Naissa (29) – Madagascar

“I came to Hungary 7 years ago and I immediately fell in love with the place so I decided to stay. I prefer to meet offline but it is hard nowadays. Hungarian men tend to be shy at first, they do not easily approach women, especially women of colour who are so different from their own kinds of girls they are used to. So far, I’ve tried Bumble, Happn, Punch.. but most guys want purely sex instead of love. Tinder is completely spoilt, in my experience.

I haven’t really had a long-term relationship so far but I have been introduced to my exes’ parents several times, often pretty early on. When it comes to my ex-partners’ families, some were accepting some were less so. Some saw me as something exotic, while others treated me as if I were dumb due to my limited Hungarian. Others were absolutely open and friendly, interested in practicing their English with me.

I’ve had a fair share of awful dating experiences that basically put me off from meeting new people for a while. For example, one guy invited me for a date even though he was already seeing someone else. He admitted that after our second date when he refused to drop me off at the train station unless I agreed to spend the night at his place. He was basically in a dilemma of whether he should commit to that other girl or keep his options open. It turned out I was fun to be with, but eventually, he wanted to stay with a more “stable” person whatever that was supposed to mean. Nevertheless, he kept texting me for a couple of weeks. I’ve also had dates when the other person just simply did not show up even though we arranged to meet up well beforehand. Others tried to kiss me and get physical already on the second date but it takes time for me to develop feelings. Hungarian men tend to be rather impatient. I’m currently taking a break from dating as I find it overwhelming.”

Zosia (37) – Poland

“I’ve been trying to decide whether I should make Hungary my base for over a year now. I’ve mixed feelings about this place. I’m not sure if I’ll stay here or try other European capitals. As a digital nomad who has lived in a handful of countries, I must say that the Hungarian dating scene is far more chaotic than in other countries.

In my experience, locals mostly prefer to date each other than foreigners. Men do not really approach women when out and about. It’s frustrating because I refuse to put myself on Tinder or any dating app. My other expat friends who set up online profiles told me that Hungarian men most often consider foreign women for sexual experimentation instead of building something serious together.  I find it really off-putting, I’d never want to be in that situation. I myself also felt like a piece of meat when dating, but that applies to men all across the globe.

Up to this day, I’ve tried dating two Hungarian men and a Hungarian woman. They have extremely different ideas on how fast relationships should progress than what I experienced in other places where I’ve previously lived. The two Hungarian men were kinda weird and both of them stalked me for over 30 days each time. The Hungarian woman refused to change her view on therapy or foreign cultures. I believe therapy can be life-changing for those with serious issues or past traumas while learning about other cultures is fun and interesting. Yet, I didn’t want to force her to change or be uncomfortable so we parted ways. I’m looking for a long-term commitment with a suitable partner.”

Conor (44) – Ireland

“Work brought me to Hungary two years ago. I mostly try to meet people offline and at social events. I regularly attend expat meetings and speed dating events but so far I’ve had little success. Initially, I was looking for a long-term relationship but I’ve given up on that by now. Local people are open to dating foreigners but the language barrier is a problem. I know a few nice Hungarians but on the whole, I prefer the company of other expats. After two years, I would describe dating in Hungary as a toxic minefield. Hungarian women are extremely beautiful but they have a massively overinflated sense of their own value. They can also be cruel in a way that I’ve never experienced before. They are also extremely shallow. If you are under six feet tall, forget it. There are also a lot of extremely damaged women here who take out the bitterness of past relationships on the men they meet in the present.

Despite all that, the one time I dated a woman longer than a couple of weeks, it was a pleasant experience. My ex-girlfriend’s family was lovely. They were very caring and wanted to take care of me as I was in Hungary by myself. I left with tonnes of food in plastic boxes every time we visited them in the countryside.

However, if I look at the whole picture, I’ll be honest – there aren’t a lot of good experiences to mention. I have been offered sex in exchange for crisps once on a bus – I guess that would qualify as a funny story.”

Read more: How to make friends as an expat in Hungary